The View from Mudsock Heights: A New Bug Going Around Has Me Pinin’ for an Evergreen

By Dennis Dennis | Posted at 22:47

There is a very unpleasant little bug going around. It’s like the flu or the bubonic plague or something. It causes fever, makes breathing a chore, and makes one abnormally stupid. And I’ve got it. Which means that this would be the perfect time to run the “evergreen” column in this space. What is an evergreen column? Well …

People who write columns and other regular features, like anyone else, sometimes get sick. Less like anyone else, they might run off with a painted dancing lady or a bluejeans-wearing, country-blues-picking guitar girl. Columnists in cities have been known to go off on three-day benders (and when was the last time you heard that word?), disappearing entirely. Their fatherly editors, of course, forgive them these foibles but still have a newspaper to fill.

Thus the evergreen column. It’s a little insurance policy in the form of a column written long ahead of time that has nothing current or seasonable about it. That way, it can be used anytime a columnist’s indisposition or inattention precludes his writing his usual screed.

Evergreen columns are not without their perils. I know of a Florida columnist whose evergreen ran when he had failed to show up and write it one Monday. Just after the paper went to press the columnist’s body was found near the sailboat from which he had been knocked by a wave. His evergreen column was about the joys of sailing. While some thought it an appropriate tribute, there was the usual complaint that it was “insensitive.” (When did we become so thin-skinned?)

I had a similar experience, also in Florida, that was in its way even worse.

My editor had asked each reporter to produce an illustrated story that would take up an entire page, as a remedy in case a fullpage ad were canceled at the last minute. I dutifully put my piece together. It was a picture page involving a blind man who loved to fish in the canals near his home and who, despite his blindness, was very good at catching very big fish. I submitted the story and pictures and gave it no more thought.

Many months later the story appeared. The phones began to ring and my editor’s hands began to wring.

The blind fisherman, it seemed, had died some weeks earlier. There had even been an obituary in our own paper. People were very upset.

At least he hadn’t fallen into the canal, or been eaten by an alligator. And the fisherman’s family phoned later, now less angry with me, and asked for copies of the pictures.

The “evergreen” article has all kinds of hidden dangers. It’s not as easy to write as one might think.

A couple of decades ago I had the good fortune of working at a radio network with the brilliant Gil Gross. If you listened in recent years to the Paul Harvey broadcast you may have heard Gil, who frequently filled in for the ailing Harvey. Gil had his own commentary spot each day and had put together the only evergreen piece I’ve ever heard that ended up having nothing wrong with it. He said that this morning’s commentary was being run because he was sick, and went on to speculate as to the nature of his illness. He said he hoped he was home, with a thermometer in his mouth, something warm to drink, and cartoons on the television. It turned out, that was exactly what was happening. Brilliance is sometimes aided by luck.

I figured I had brought this bug or whatever it is onto myself. Not long ago I installed a new floor in my office, a nice laminate. It was not as easy as they say, but it wasn’t as hard as it could have been. I needed to cut some of the pieces, which produces a very fine dust. It was impossible to avoid breathing some of it. And I spent time in my workshop, where mice and chipmunks gambol in the winter. They might have left behind a little something that combined with spring dampness was all too ready to move into my lungs.
But then I learned that other people I know, who have not been installing flooring and who have not been in my shop, had come down with the same thing. So maybe it’s not my fault after all.

Whatever it is, it is both life- and mind-altering. It made me into a cranky guy, even though I did not care to be cranky. A close and considerate female friend was driven to observe, “Men are babies when they’re sick.” I plead guilty.

The whole thing caused me to think of the evergreen column and how very appropriate a time this would be to run it.

Problem is, I forgot to write one.

Dennis E. Powell is crackpot-at-large to Open for Business. Powell was an award-winning reporter in New York and elsewhere before moving to Ohio and becoming a full-time crackpot. You can reach him at dep@drippingwithirony.com.



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Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: A New Bug Going Around Has Me Pinin’ for an Evergreen

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Discount Rate informationMiami Florida Warehouse LeaseMotel For Sale<li>commercial property for lease</li>Force Majeure<span class=”label-size label-size-5”><li>buildings for sale nyc</li>Commercial Brokers<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-2”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Circulation Factor information</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-3”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Core Factor<span class=”label-size label-size-2”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Bankruptcy</span> | </span> | Assessment definitionCost Approach defined<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Broker<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>EasementFirst Right Of RefusalCRB defined</span> | Exclusive Agency Listing info</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>GrantorCPM info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>warehouse properties<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Resources<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Below Grade<li>commercial building for sale</li></span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Florida Commercial Real EstateFirst Generation Space information<span class=”label-size label-size-3”>Chapter 11</span> | <li>office space</li></span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Bankrupt information<span class=”label-size label-size-1”></span> | Capital Expenses</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Consumer Price Index CPI</span> | Broker info</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Build OutCapitalization info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>General Partner information</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Below Grade definitionChapter 11 definitionTerms - AMO<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-3”>Commercial Property Objectivescommercialrealestate<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Cost Approach definition</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Solutions infoCRE definitionCirculation Factor definedCommercial Property Professionals info</span> | </span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Terms - Anchor TenantBankrupt definitionBase Rent defined</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Contiguous Spacewarehouses for saleProperty Search CommercialEstoppel Certificate informationCCIM info</span> | </span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>warehouses for sale</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>CRBCommercial Property Team infoSpace For Rent</span> | <li>office space for rent</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Gross Absorbtion information</span> | </span> | Contract Documents info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Future Proposed Space information</span> | Terms - Attorn</span> | Office Lease<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Broker informationContiguous Space information</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Offices For Sale<span class=”label-size label-size-4”>Easement information<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Broker</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-2”><li>commercial building for sale</li></span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Default<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Professionals informationAd Valorem definition</span> | </span> | corporate relocation</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Full Service RentDistraint</span> | Terms - Assessment<span class=”label-size label-size-2”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Cumulative Discount Rate defined</span> | Build To Suit informationCarrying Charges info</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Estoppel Certificate</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Building Classifications<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>warehouse for sale</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Team information</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>CRE defined</span> | </span> | Attorn</span> | Common Area infoAdd-On-Factor defined</span> | Office Building Sales</span> | </span> | Covenant information</span> | Construction Management defined</span> | </span> | <li>commercial property finance</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”></span> | Anchor Tenant</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Anchor Tenant definition<li>warehouse space</li></span> | CRS information</span> | </span> | office building<li>commercial property for sale</li><span class=”label-size label-size-3”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Bankruptcy definition<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Ad Valorem definedMiami Rent WarehouseDeed in Lieu of Foreclosure<span class=”label-size label-size-4”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Demising Walls information</span> | Environmental ImpactConveyance information<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Base Year</span> | Construction Management information<li>warehouse for sale</li><li>commercial property for lease</li></span> | </span> | office rentals<li>Miami office space for sale</li></span> | Chapter 7 defined</span> | </span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Deed in Lieu of Foreclosure info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”></span> | Building Classifications informationMiami Office For RentCRS defined</span> | <li>commercial property for rent</li>Commercial Property StrategiesTerms - ARM</span> | Deed Of Trust</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Condemnation definedCommercial Property Business infoabatement defined</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Services informationwarehouse space</span> | national commercial real estate</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Real Estate In AtlantaBase Rent</span> | </span> | office space rent</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Encumbrance informationCumulative Discount Rate infoCommercial Properties<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>CPM defined</span> | </span> | Capital Expenses informationFull RecourseOffices To LeaseAssignment definitionDeed definition</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Terms - Annual Percentage Rate (APR)<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Bullet Loan infoExpense Stop information</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Appraisal definitionAdd-On-Factor<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Future Proposed Space</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Building Standard definedCommercial Property Agent<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-3”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Offers info</span> | Encroachment informationCost ApproachFirst Right Of Refusal informationTerms - AssignmentShopping Center For Sale</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Distraint information<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property Markets info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Build To Suit info</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”></span> | <li>commercial property for lease</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Assessment<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Shopping Malls For Sale</span> | </span> | </span> | </span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Hotel Brokers</span> | Warehouse Space For RentBuilding Standard information</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-2”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>General Contractor</span> | Concessions defined<li>office space in Miami</li>Rent Office Spacecommercial realestate</span> | Commercial Property Objectives information<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-2”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Real Estate Miami Florida</span> | <li>warehouse space for rent</li></span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>warehouse for rent Miami</li></span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Chapter 7<li>commercial property</li>CRE info</span> | Commercial Property Services info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”></span> | </span> | <li>commercial property</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>commercial mortgage ratesAssignment defined</span> | </span> | </span> | Commercial Property Transactions<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Assignment<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Search Commercial Real Estate<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-5”><li>commercial property for sale</li><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>AbsorbtionEconomic FeasibilityOffice Space For Sale<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>warehouse for rent miami</li>Commercial Property info<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Clear Span Facility definedOffice Building For SaleConveyance</span> | </span> | </span> | Add-On-Factor definitionBuilding Code information</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-4”>Industrial Park<span class=”label-size label-size-2”><span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Appraisal defined<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>hotels for sale</li>Dedicate</span> | </span> | Base Rent information</span> | </span> | Consumer Price Index CPI information<li>warehouse in miami</li>terms - abatement</span> | </span> | </span> | search commercial property</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Covenant Of Quiet EnjoymentCIREI definitionConstruction ManagementCapitalization definition<span class=”label-size label-size-4”>Build Out info</span> | </span> | Demising WallsTerms - AppreciationBuilding Classifications definitionGraduated Lease informationProperty<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Dedicate definition<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Contract Documents definition<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Industrial Buildings For SaleCommercial RealtorsMiami Warehouse Space</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Allowance Over Building Shell definitionDeficiency Judgement</span> | </span> | International Commercial Property infoCommercial Property Markets information</span> | Land</span> | warehouse for lease<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Cost Approach info</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>businesses for sale</li>Capitalization Rate info</span> | <li>office rental</li>Building Classifications definedCIREI infoEconomic Rent informationCorporate Commercial Property<span class=”label-size label-size-2”>Commercial Property Team<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Commercial Property informationExclusive Agency ListingALC Defined<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-4”></span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>warehouse for rent Miami</li><li>commercial real estate nj</li></span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Escrow Agreement information<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”>above building standard defined</span> | </span> | Industrial LandBalloon Payment information</span> | <li>warehouse for rent Miami</li>Clear Span Facility info</span> | CPM definition<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Effective Rent informationConcessions</span> | Circulation Factor definitionConstruction Management definitionCommercial Property Development information</span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Appreciation definition</span> | </span> | </span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Consumer Price Index CPI infocommercial real estate for sale<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Concessions informationcommercial realtyIndustrial Property<span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Floor Area RatioMiami Commercial Real Estate Broker</span> | <span class=”label-size label-size-1”>Build To Suit definedterms - AbsorbtionAs-Is Condition<span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><span class=”label-size label-size-1”><li>office space rental</li>Commercial Property Agents</span> | </span>

Posted by Bo - Feb 18, 2018 | 20:57

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