The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!

By Dennis Dennis | Posted at 23:06

Have you ever stopped to watch — really watch — cereal commercials on television? My favorites are those aimed at children. The punchline is always “part of this complete breakfast,” which is accompanied by a picture of a breakfast setting that would be no less complete if the cereal disappeared entirely. The cut up fruit and the eggs and bacon and toast and glass of milk do not really need little orbs of puffed sugar with a crunchy sugar coating to fulfill their nutritional aspirations.

This tiny coda to the drama-in-miniature about why you’ll be much cooler if you eat this particular cereal is no doubt put there at the insistence of the government, or lawyers, or government lawyers. It is not something we saw a couple decades ago, before pretending to be nutritious was important.

I like breakfast cereal, but my tastes run toward the industrial stuff: Wheat Chex (though they were much better when they were produced by the Ralston Purina Company of Checkerboard Square and could have been marketed as “Purina Kid Chow”). Best of all, Grape Nuts, even though the name of that product has always puzzled me, in that the best I can tell it has nothing to do with either grapes or nuts. These are best eaten by themselves, like crunchy little rocks. If your jaw muscles are not aching after you’ve eaten Grape Nuts, you haven’t done it right.

There are puffed wheat and puffed rice, which are a large form of the tiny little balls that, glued together, make up styrofoam. You can eat a whole box or bag of these with no actual harm to yourself because they’re about as substantial than cotton candy.

All this is brought to mind by the confluence of two events (three, if you count the longterm after effects of a misspent youth). In the space of about 90 seconds I encountered cereal disguised as packaging material and a little silver-wrapped package of Kellogg’s Marshmallow Krispie Treats which, despite their extortionate price I purchased and devoured.

The latter alarmed me. We are all familiar with the recipe, on every box of Kellogg’s Rice Krispies. It is a recipe indulged in primarily by grandmothers, who are the only persons on the planet capable of avoiding the sticky mess that results when families try to make Marshmallow Krispie Treats as a group. Those smiling, happy families you see on television making them are obviously drugged. The only people who can produce Krispie Treats in a businesslike fashion are grandmothers.

Yet the Kellogg company of Battle Creek, Mich., now sells packages of Krispie Treats. Somewhere, they have a factory full of grandmothers, cranking these things out, probably for slave wages. An investigation is in order.

Marshmallow Krispie Treats are made of marshmallows, butter, and Rice Krispies. If thast does not qualify them to be part of this complete breakfast, I can’t imagine what would.

Meanwhile, I received a package more in keeping with my own personal notions of a proper breakfast cereal. No, this has nothing to do with the coffee mug someone sent me. Instead, I’m talking about the padding which (unsuccessfully, it turns out) protected the mug during its bumpy ride to my home. Where once the crockery would have been shielded by styrofoam peanuts, light, airy, gloriously vulnerable to static electricity, it was now packaged in a corn product. Really.

My first encounter with this stuff (if you haven’t seen it, it’s like Cheeze Curls only brownish gray and not as salty, though it may contain about as much real cheese) came when I lost the spigot cover for the pressure washer and thought I’d temporarily plug it with what I thought was a gray styrofoam peanut, only it melted when it came into contact with water. After doing research, I learned that it was essentially puffed cornstarch.

One supposes, then, that with some slight modification it could be made edible. Who knows, maybe it already is.

We live in an era of reuse and recycling. We try to waste as little as possible. One suspects that this philosophy figures in to the replacement of nice, indestructible styrofoam peanuts by these puffed corn extrusions that melt when they get wet. But the makers have gone only part way. A little salt and flavoring and instead of throwing them away you could just gobble them right on down.

They have come so close, so very close. Just a little bit more work and the gulf between breakfast cereal and packing peanuts would disappear entirely. We’re already making the phony styrofoam out of food: why not take that next bold step? After all, the cereal commercials have shown us that lack of nutritional value is no barrier.

It’s worth thinking about. And I’m going to do that right after I take a little nap.

The Krispie Treats have worn off and I’m sleepy and cranky now.

Dennis E. Powell is crackpot-at-large to Open for Business. Powell was an award-winning reporter in New York and elsewhere before moving to Ohio and becoming a full-time crackpot. You can reach him at

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!


Posted by Jute Goods - Aug 1, 2017 | 18:56

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!
Posted by khulafa - Aug 9, 2017 | 1:37

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!
Posted by khulafa - Aug 9, 2017 | 1:49

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!

The Cereal commercials are one of my favorite ads on television and i have watched it lots of times in TV. Such kind of advertisement gives huge influence on children and they also respond to this ad in their own way. It was really nice to read about it through this article. Babylon City Tours Amsterdam

Posted by Danette - Aug 10, 2017 | 11:59

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!
Posted by Jhondeui - Aug 12, 2017 | 6:53

banh trung thu

Cua Hang banh trung thu tai Tam Diep Sam Yen Thinh Phat xin gioi thieu banh trung thu tai Vinh cac loai banh trung thu yen sao 2017 dac biet thom ngon banh trung thu tai Bao Loc. Banh trung thu yen sao ban tai cua hang la san pham cua cong ty nha nuoc Yen Sao Khanh Hoa banh trung thu tai Da Lat. Day la cac san pham duoc san xuat tren mot quy trinh khep kin dam bao banh trung thu tai Tan An cac san pham dat tieu chuan ve mat an toan hop ve sinh cung nhu co chat luong het suc thom ngon va dac biet.

Posted by banh trung thu - Aug 15, 2017 | 9:53

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!

Later, I increased the proportion of a shop clerk commissioned, sealed him as manager, told him 1 month after the store's turnover Nike Air Max Shoes if the decline of more than 5%, immediately change the store long. So I wholeheartedly into the opening of the new store. 1 month later, my second store, shop three Nike Air Presto Mens opened, I still can not be idle, and began the planning as before the rally, and began the preparation of the fourth store. Behind the month, I am a shop's profit situation is good, reached 12,000 yuan, 5,000 yuan on the 2nd shop, No. 3 shop actually have 10,000 yuan! To know that this is the first month, the staff is not familiar! I found the reason is a girl clerk to do business is very talented, will also favor customers, I said nothing to her salary doubled, directly promoted to manager. The end of schedule arrived, I and Yun only spent half a day, they had to busy their own store. Yun go home, I can not go, the goal is not completed how can I see her family? But I and her mother through a phone call, her mother smiled and said: 'small D, we know you are a good child, we are looking forward to your family to marry it early!' I know the meaning of this words , And smiled and replied, 'I will, thank you aunt and uncle 's trust. The end of the year 2 months, because the New Year, the festival is also more, my business is a good mess. No. 4 shop also in time before the Spring Festival opened. This two months each store averaged 15,000 in January and then 2 months after my cash reached 120,000. I began to step by step and each room to buy pavement, if they do not sell, I will find another landlord to talk about, then many houses are property, better take. And then the price is low, and I give the price slightly higher, in front of three are talking very well, the unit price of about 3700 a square it, a total of 13 million, I all give the cash. The fourth to 50,000, I have no money, but the mortgage in front of a shop as 30,000 signed a letter of intent, wait a month later, the funds withdrawn, the money cobble together to take the store down. This time Womens Air Max Shoes is already the end of March, I left 8 months. Business seems to be in progress, the target seems to be getting closer.

Posted by solo - Aug 25, 2017 | 5:43

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!

For best funny aliens meme visit us

Posted by paino - Sep 2, 2017 | 15:46

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!

mk shoulder bags on sale
cheap michael kors bags
Michael Kors Package Deals
mk shoulder bags wholesale
michael kors crossbody handbags
michael kors jet set checkbook wallet
michael kors satchel
michael kors checkbook wallet black
Michael Kors Shoulder Tote
michael kors tote zip
women's checkbook wallet
mk cross shoulder bag
michael kors tote small
michael kors deals for black friday
michael kors tote usa
michael kors checkbook wallet sale
michael kors wallet with checkbook
mens checkbook wallet
michael kors jet set crossbody
michael kors checkbook wallet cheap
michael kors signature tote
michael kors shoulder bag jet set
michael kors shoulder wallet
michael kors totes outlet
michael kors outlet online
MK Package Deals
michael kors jet set tote
michael kors shoulder bag outlet
michael kors crossbody bag
michael kors tote bag
michael kors checkbook wallet
michael kors satchel bag
michael kors tote bags sale
michael kors crossbody for sale
Michael Kors Handbags
michael kors crossbody cheap
michael kors satchel outlet
michael kors crossbody bags on sale
michael kors grayson satchel
michael kors satchel sale
michael kors crossbody sale
michael kors bags 2016
michael kors sutton satchel
michael kors bags outlet
michael kors crossbody bag outlet
michael kors tote cheap
michael kors shoulder bag sale
michael kors cynthia satchel
michael kors outlet
michael kors satchels
michael kors hamilton satchel
checkbook wallet for women free shipping
mk shoulder bags
michael kors satchel small
michael kors tote 2015
michael kors deals on black friday
michael kors outlet store
michael kors factory outlet
michael kors shoulder bag
michael kors tote on sale
michael kors tote
michael kors crossbody bag for women

Posted by LL - Sep 8, 2017 | 7:23

Re: The View from Mudsock Heights: It’s a Delicious Cereal! No, It’s a Packaging Material!
Posted by gokul - Sep 16, 2017 | 9:08

Check Cashing Lemon-Grove

Thanks a lot for all your advice, Blog is really decent not to mention instructive articles and other content. I'm sure consistently in search of good items not to mention content pieces then I consider I’m privileged to enjoy seen this unique! Now click here Check Cashing Lemon-Grove Let's hope you're going to be putting in further someday

Posted by Pervez - Sep 17, 2017 | 12:57

Please enter your comment entry below. Press 'Preview' to see how it will look.

Sign In to Your Account
User Name:
:mrgreen: :neutral: :twisted: :arrow: :shock: :smile: :???: :cool: :evil: :grin: :idea: :oops: :razz: :roll: :wink: :cry: :eek: :lol: :mad: :sad: :!: :?:
Home About Connect: Twitter Facebook RSS
© 2001-2012 Universal Networks, All Rights Reserved. Some content rights may be held by Universal Networks' providers and used under license. Powered by ServerForest and SAFARI. Learn about our privacy policy here.